We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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