DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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