oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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