we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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