Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
