you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
