Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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