Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize