im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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