So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
