what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
