Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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