are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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