Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
