i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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