So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
