girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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