a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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