Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize