it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
are you so shy because you have an std?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
