Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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