This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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