heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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