we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
