Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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