I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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