She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
