My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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