So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
