theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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