She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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