never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
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