why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm just crazy horny about you
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
