he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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