Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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