And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
