You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
