you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I am one with the molecules
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
