So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
