I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
