Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
