So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
