I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
