its not stalking. its research.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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