i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
