Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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