Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We don't watch enough power rangers
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
