Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
