Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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