im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
