shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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