he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
