I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
