was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
