there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I forget how to act sober
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize