just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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