i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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