That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize