Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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