I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
