We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
