hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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